Five year old handcuffed
Anyone who wasn't living in a cave the last couple of days has been tuning into the story about the five year old who was handcuffed by police for acting up in her classroom. And there are plenty of opinions going around about the girl's, school officials and police behavior.
I was checking out some of the comments about the incident on other blogs and came across this one: He said, "They used to beat the crap out of us for doing that."
My advice to all parents who are having financial difficulty or would like that long awaited trip to Hawai, to train their children, preferably the younger ones for a more "Oh my God" effect, to throw the biggest kicking, screaming, spitting, destructive tantrum in class so they can sue the school district AND the police department for restraining their child. After all, in today's environment, bad behavior can and often leads to riches. And to think the rest of us were teaching our children to "behave in class and respect their teachers." What fools we were!
Click on the headline to view the video of the five year old earning big bucks for her parents. Just once, I'd like a jury to come out with a verdict against the "parents" for not supporting school officials and the cops for trying to correct such bad behavior.
Someone left a comment about this subject in the "A Must Read for Liberals" post. I've moved it below on this post. Read it....it's a good one.
posted by sallyann | 2:34 PM
18 Comments:
Have you all been watching the news about the 5 year old being handcuffed in Florida? While I think this may be viewed as extreme by many, I see it as a positive message that parents need to be held responsible.
The news story said the parents were suing because child was traumatized (good! Maybe she will get the message that her behavior was unacceptable!) If I were the parents of the other children in the classroom, I would sue the parents of the 5 year old for traumatizing my child with her behavior, which lead to the handcuffing.
In my early school days (the 60s) behavior like that would have gotten me a trip to the principal's office (where they kept the paddle), a call to my parents (who would have, no doubt, spanked me to get the message across that my behavior was unacceptable - like any of us would have dared to act like that!!) and would have been followed up with a public apology to the teacher and other students, prior to being allowed back into the classroom.
Parents have a real opportunity here to fight for order in our schools again. We might actually have an opportunity to get back some of what we lost!
12:48 PM
Guess what. The five year old is a victim of racism. That's what they're saying. Can someone explain to me why being Black should excuse bad behavior? Wait a minute...it's coming back to me...it's POLICE BRUTALITY. NO....it's "unconscious racism". Wait a minute....the police officers were ALL WHITE. It's real police brutality against the Black race. There that's settled. It's not her fault.
Having worked with out of control children I have learned it is usually the fault of the parents and homelife that bring children to such behavior. Divorce, single parents just getting by, not enough time for spending getting to know your child and lack of discipline all contribute to the problem. When a child is neglected they learn to get attention any way they can even if it is negative attention. Some of these children are scarred for life by the emotional neglect and are always acting out as a result. These children need special help and be taught that you can't always have things your way and that no menans no. That is why there are so many special education classes these days. Schools are now teaching what should have been taught at home. The other problem is you can teach a child at school but when he/she goes home the same problems still exist there. How to make parents responsible? That is a question that has been asked for years. Until parents are made responsible the problems will exist.
We continually look to justify bad behavior(they were poor, came from a broken family, etc.)for everyone. There will always be something to use as justification, if you want there to be.
I recall while growing up that my parents did not explain to me why I couldn't have something, do something, etc.- they said "because I said so" and that was all there was to it.
I have a primary school child who HAS BEEN raised to be respectful to everyone around him. He should not be subjected to the kind of behavior that young girl was exhibiting for two reasons-
1)First -the behavior is completely distruptive to all of the children who are trying to learn and we do not spend ridiculous amounts of money on education so that our children CAN learn educational subjects- not bad behavior
2) Allowing that type of behavior within a classroom, while the teacher stands there helpless to take any real action, reinforces the fact, to all of the children, that the kids are in control and the teachers have no power. No wonder why there is anarchy at the mid and high school levels!
The solution- do not allow that type of behavior in any classroom.
Children who cannot behave within a reasonable set of standards should be removed from the classroom, the parents should be contacted and required to remove the child from school with the understanding that their child will not be allowed to return, until such time as their behavior is acceptable- end of discussion.
Was the handcuffing out of line? No- I don't think so. I would imagine it made a much bigger impression on the littel girl than anything her parents have ever done, and made a statement to the rest of the class that this behavior was unacceptable.
Regarding this comment: "Having worked with out of control children I have learned it is usually the fault of the parents and homelife that bring children to such behavior."
What was the school's policy when a teacher was confronted with this type of behavior? And if the parents were notified, what did the school expect them to do with their child?
I need to clarify my statement, as I realized too late that I had messed it up- #1 should read:
1)First -the behavior is completely distruptive to all of the children who are trying to learn and we spend ridiculous amounts of money on education so that our children CAN learn educational subjects- not bad behavior
Next, the only way that schools can properly fulfill their place in society is by doing what they are there to do- teach our children the core subjects they need to succeed in life. I do NOT expect them to take my child's moral upbringing upon themselves,nor would I trust them with it, but I do expect them to provide an environment in which my child can learn, understands expectations and feels secure.
If any of my children EVER acted the way that young girl did, I would expect to be called and you can bet there would be hell to pay. My guess is the girl has no idea what rules or discipline are.
Is this the parents fault? Yes it is. What do we expect them to do- take responsibility for the life they brought into this world.
The quickest way to get results is to lay the problem back in the lap of those who created it, with very specific guidelines. We spend billions of dollars on social programs every year for parenting classes, job training, drug and alcohol rehab, child abuse prevention and the list goes on.
Wouldn't it be lovely if, instead of teaching people they were victims, we expected them to take responsibility for their actions and choices. What a concept!!
Sally, I may be the odd ball here but i feel this behavior comes back to the school system.The school is responsible for the teaching if your parents yell at you it's child abuse. If your parents spank you it's abuse.And they will gladly involve the police and childrens services if your child tells them that they fear a spanking when they get home for misbehavior.Oh and lets not forget their new thing that they teach there are no wrong decisions only different opinions.I for one am sick of this blame the parents .If the school would'nt have taught all this crap the parents would still have control of their children.And the principal would still give trouble makers the paddle.Sorry for the rant sore subject.
Being an Old Senior Citizen, I have always felt that controlling your behavior starts with the parents the day they bring you into this world. The Mother's criticism of the school and the police demonstrates exactly what is wrong with our Society today. When I was a youg'n, a report to my parents of this kind of behavior would not have been tolerated -let alone excused and promoted.
Marc- I would agree with you that the schools have helped create the problem, but only because we, as citizens, gave them the power to do so.
I do not send my children to school for morality or diversity lessons. Nor do I send then to school to learn to be victims. I consider it my responsibility to set a proper example, to teach them the difference between right and wrong, not to make decisions based on generalizations but rather on facts and objective reason, and to reinforce those lessons throughout their childhood.
I expect the schools to teach them math, science, english, history, etc., and I, in turn, will reinforce the importance of learning at home.
All of us, parents (primarily), schools (providing a stable environment conducive to learning), communities (reinforcing our guidance by practicing the behavioral standards society expects from its individual citizens) are responsible.
We, as parents, teach our children by our example, as should the schools and the community. If our children see us protecting wrongdoers rights, rationalizing wrongdoers' behavior and not practicing what we preach, is it any wondered they are all confused and we have lost all control?
You know the saying - Garbage in, garbage out!
Hopefully, children will have enough smarts to know the difference between what they see and hear that is wrong and right.They shold have a conscience of some sort . Think there must be better terminology than garbage in as related to children. They do have brains and do have the ability to differentiate the difference between right and wrong-hopefully. They should not be compared with robots yet.
Dear anonymous-
I certainly was not insinuating that our children are garbage! I was stating that when we don't teach them the right things and we aren't clear and consistent in that teaching (ie: garbage in), how can we reasonably expect to get quality results. I have 2 teenagers and a 7 year old- believe me, I have experience in this area!
Children must be taught right or wrong. This is at the center of the argument. It's questionable whether or not kids are learning how to behave. I knew at five years old if I behaved the way the little girl did, I would be in serious trouble. I would never have dared to act up like that in school, or even at home, especially at home.
Kathyb-It is sad that we gave the school system the power to do so.Especialy when many of us dont recall ever voting on the child abuse thing for spanking or yelling at our kids not to mention saying the school principal could no longer discipline our misbehaving kids.And i dont remember voting out prayer in school.I dont send my kids to school for a morality lesson either,But they sure do learn them in school. Teaching them there are right and wrong choices is a given at home.But im sure its confusing when taught the opposite in school. I too speak from experience as i have 2 children finished with school as well as a 15yr old and a 11 year old still in the system.Dont get me wrong i think there is no excuse for the kind of misbehavior that lil girl presented but i have a different opinion on where the majority of the blame goes.
Marc, I feel your 100% right!! I'm tried of the parents getting all the blame.
Perhaps, one of the most important words in dealing with children is the word made famous by Thomas Watson of IBM..
.Think.....
We all know that the brains of children are like sponges-picking up the good and the bad to which they are exposed. Since children are not computers that can be programmed to spit out the correct response,parents and educators need to reinforce the idea early in a child's life that actions do have consequences- (good and bad)and that the child needs to think before they act.
Children who learn to think before they act and who learn to be responsible for their actions,are more likely to become trustworthy adults and citizens.
Regarding Marc's comment that he's sick and tired of the schools blaming the parents.
On many levels I agree with his asessment. For many years the schools blamed the parents for their own teaching deficiencies. If a child was failing, then it must be the parents fault: They weren't providing a proper atmosphere for learning at home or they weren't emphasizing the proper focus on education.
I bought it for awhile, until the number of failing students surpassed what I considered reasonable. When over 50% of all students couldn't read or write proficiently, I knew it couldn't be "just the parents fault." There had to be something "systemically" wrong in the public schools for such a failing rate to ocurr.
Thirty years ago, schools and parents worked in tandum as stated by the many comments. If you messed up in school, the ride home on the bus was brutal for a kid. They knew when they got home there would be a "reckoning".
There is no doubt the family structure has changed dramatically in 30 years. And when it went "bad" it was natural for schools to blame the parents. But at some point we have to stop blaming each other and get back on the right path for our children's sake.
Unfortunately, I don't see this happening any time soon. We are at loggerheads as to what is the proper way to raise children. I recently spoke with a mother who was scared to death of her child. Afraid to dicipline her for fear she would call the cops and have her arrested for child abuse. To many of you who read this, you will say this is pure BS and any parent who would allow their child to threaten them in this way would quickly see the inside of the woodshed. But, the fact remains, our society, in its zeal to prevent child abuse,a lofty effort to be sure, has opened Pandora's box. You see, cops "do come" and investigate and the kid knows this giving the child a powerful "weapon" to use against the parent.
Progressive child rearing decisions along the way have gotten us into this situation. Wise people said it would happen when they took prayer out of school. Hard to believe that something so benign as a moment of prayer at the start of the school day could lead to the downfall of the traditional American family. But it did. It opened the door for more "progressive" ideas to take root.Within the next 30 years a host of progressive child rearing techniques were unleased on an unsuspecting society. They all sounded reasonable at the time they were being introduced. Spanking kids damaged their self esteem, shusing kids damaged their freedom of expression. The old adage that "kids were to be seen and not heard" was thrown over and replaced with...well...you all know what replaced it. Just watch a group of kids when they think you're not looking at them or just try to tell them "NO"...it'll rock you to your socks!
The most significant thing we lost was "accountablity and a clear moral code." Treacherous "grey" areas began to appear in the pursuit to rear children. What was once clearly defined was now "open for discussion." Johnny would not be held accountable for his bad behavior anymore. It had to be caused by someone or something else. Case in point: The five year who was handcuffed a few weeks ago and the firestorm surrounding the event. The powers to be are actually going to allow a lawsuit against the school district and the police. And why is this going to happen? Because there's only a few of us who can tell what is right and what is wrong anymore and believe in holding our kids accountable. We are a dying breed to be sure if we do not start speaking out.
The schools quickly fell into the "blame game". It worked for a while, but now, the lack of accountability has crossed the line. We are holding the wrong people and institutions responsible. That is a fact. Thirty years ago, the parents, the school and the cops would have been working together to teach the five year old a "life lesson". Not any more.
I don't know where the parents were, which is a mitigating factor. However, I have no problem with that they did with that kid. Should they just leave her in class to disrupt and threaten all the kids? Nope, this kid needed a decent smackin' and some respect for authority. In fact, quite recently I addressed all of this on a post on my site here:
http://iamcorrect.blogspot.com/2004/06/good-smackin-well-study-came-out-that.html
Hey Lono...checked out your position on the five year old...you're absolutely right.
Readers: copy/paste Lono's html code in your browser address window and experience one of those "light bulb goes off over your head" moments. Lono put the whole thing in perspective in about 200 words. Great stuff....
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