Link Red-StaterWisdoms

Red-StaterWisdoms explores the differences between the Red and Blue states on social, personal and political issues.

My Photo
Location: New York

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Community Forum--New Feature

When I was around town today, a good friend gave me an idea for the blog. He said, "Wouldn't it be great to have a place on the blog where people could go and write about issues that concern them?" He went on to say he could write a book on how he feels about driving on Route 15. Right then and there I knew I would create a "Community Forum" for the readers of

So here it is.....

And here's what you can do:

1.) Write about any issue or topic.
2.) Respond to posted comments.
3.) Post "get well, best wishes, congratulations, condolences, happy birthday, happy anniversary notices."
4.) Post bits of news items from around town.
5.) Post uplifting poems or quotes.
6.) Post CLEAN jokes.
7.) Seek advice and give advice....No real names please.

Here's what you can't do:
1.) Be malicious, slanderous, offensive, meanspirited or foul mouthed.

I will delete any comment that is malicious, slanderous, offensive, meanspirited or foul mouthed.

The floor is yours......


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been crying my eyes out for days and then I came across your blog. Was reading the community forum and saw that I could ask for advice. I thought I didn't have anything to lose. I can't talk to anybody around me because I can't admit my problem. so this is my problem. I've been married for two years to a nice man. He treats me okay and we have a wonderful life together. His family doesn't like me and I don't know why. Before we were married my in laws were decent to me. I started to notice I wasn't their favorite person last Christmas. My in laws have known me all my life. We live in the same town. When my in laws come over they ignore me and if they must talk to me they are sarcastic and rude. They're always finding something wrong with me. If I do anything special for them they act like it doesn't matter. I don't expect them to fall on their knees and praise me. just to start treating me like I'm a human being agian. My husband knows how the treat me but doesn't do anything about it. He came back from his parents a week ago and told me that his mom and dad requested that I not come with him to their house on Christmas day. I ask him why and he said he didn't know why. He said are you going to be okay with that. I couldn't believe he said that. When I pushed him about it he said I should not go to keep peace in the family. He said I should go to my own family on Christmas Day. I just found out I'm pregnant a few days ago and I haven't told my husband yet. I wanted the moment to be special, but that doesn't seem possible now. I can't stop crying and I don't know what to do. My parents alwasy made Christmas the best day out of the year. They didn't spoil me. I'm not spoiled. I can't go to my parents house without my husband. They'd want to know where he was. I've thought about lying to them but I can't do that either. I don't want them to know what my in laws think of me. It would break their hearts and I can't do that to them. I'll stay home before I do that. christmas is days away and I don't know what to do. I read some of the comments people who read your blog made to the annie letter and the mom who eavesdroped on her daughter. I liked what they said. I thought maybe they could give me some good advice. I can't stop crying and my husband just walks away from me. What should I do? i know I'm not supposed to use any name but I'm going to sign my name. I live in a small town in Pennsylvania.


9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Jill,Let me start by asking if you can remeber what happened to cause this situation.I have been married 11yrs and my husband has stood by my side every step of the way.Your husband should be by yourside thats why we take vows.Try to think back to when all this started,did you say something that would have made them mad?Please do not sit at home alone tell your husband yes this does bother me!I would go to my families house for christmas tell them the situation and share your good news.Let me know if you can think of a reason why all this may have gotten started.

10:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear jill,I would like to know if your husband is an only child?Do your parents and inlaws get along?I think what your husband is doing is wrong,he shouldn't even question the fact that it bothers you.He doesn't even seem to support you at all you should not be okay with his parents requset to not go to there house for christmas. I came across something you said and it struck me as being odd.You say you and your husband get along ok,what did you mean by this?It sounds to me like your being a victim.what i mean by this,is you need to say something to your husband and inlaws, start sticking up for yourself.I feel pressured to help you there are only a few days til christmas.I DO NOT THINK YOUR HUSBAND SHOULD GO TO HIS FAMILIES HOUSE WITHOUT YOU
You need to ask the inlaws why they do not like you.You can't go on wondering what you did or didn't do.How do you think your husband will react to your pregnacy when you tell him?Make sure you answer every question i have asked,so i can get a clear picture of the issues surrounding your problem
I am the same person that wrote the other comment.I will be going by the pen name brightstar

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

For general info: All that wire and workers along River Rd. Second hand info is that it is geophysical survey, specifically natural gas search. Apparantly spikes are driven into ground at intervals, all connected . When a the whole line is up a helicopter fly over makes readings of the area. Anybody add more? -Strider

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thank you for responding so quickly. I need help fast. here's the answers to your questions--No my husband is not an only child. He has two brothers who are not married. They are younger than him. His mom and dad spoil all the boys. They never get in trouble in their eyes. If they do it's always someone elses fault. I can't think of anything I did wrong to get my in laws to hate me. Really. I can't. I never tell my husband he can't see his parents. I go out of my way to make my in laws like me but nothing I do works. It's like the longer they know me the worse they like me. I did notice once when I was kissing my husband at my in laws house his mother wrinkeld her nose at me. I showed him affection alot when we were dating and she never seemed to mind. It's just been the last year or so. My husband and I met in highschool and were married after we graduated. When I said we were okay I guess I meant we were happy together. He is good to me in most ways. I know he wouldn't cheat on me and he helps me around the apartment if I ask him to. It's just the parent thing. When his parents say jump he jumps. If I need him for something and his parents do at the same time he'll help his parents everytime. His mom is always calling for him to go do something for her. Sometimes I feel like we never got married and he never left his parents. That's when I feel like a victim and my feelings don't count. You've asked me to ask my in laws why they don't like me. I don't think I am brave enough to do that. I don't know what I would do if they told me what they thought of me. I think it would make me feel worse. But at this point what do I have to lose. They don't like me and I might as well know why right.I think my husband will be happy I'm pregnant. We've always talked about having kids. I'm so mad at him now I don't want him to know. I really don't want his parents to know. Should I tell him I'm pregnant before Christmas? I think that would help. I'm going to think about asking his parents why they don't like me. Should I ask over the phone or in person. I think I would rather do it in person. You're right. i have been a victim. I'll let you know if I dare to ask them. Thank you so much for helping me. I feel better knowing I have someone I can talk to.


8:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Jill,It sounds to me that nothing you say or do will be good enough for his parents.He is a mommy @ daddies boy.I think you better stand up for yourself tell them you don't know what there problem is with you but you don't have to put up with it.I would tell your husband he is going to be a father.I don't know if that would help but he should know.I think once his parents find out it about your pregnacy it won't change anything.If it doesn't change things,then i would not let your child go over to his parents house without you,chances are if they don't think your good enough for there son either will your child.I hope your husband wakes up because he is going to be a father.I hope you get the courage up to say something,because if your husband continues to take there side you are going to be a lonely person.STAND UP FOR YOURSELF I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!GOOD LUCK!!!!BRIGHTSTAR!!!!!i will be looking forward to your response...DON't let them treat you like your nothing.

12:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I did it. I confronted my in laws and they were shocked when I ask them why they didn't like me. My husband was more shocked. He was in the kitchen to when I asked them. It was weird how the whole thing happened. I couldn't drive my car to work yesterday because its so bad in snow so my husband took me and came and got me when my shift was over. When we were going home he said he had to stop by his parents to help his dad shovel the driveway. I usually stay in the car when I'm with him and he stops by his parents. I didn't this time. He looked a me when I got out of the car and acted like I was going in with him. He didn't say anything so I kept on goin. His mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen table and when I walked in behind him they had a funny look on their face to. I ask for a cup of coffe and then I said I'd better not BECAUSE OF THE BABY. It just came out of me that way and I was surpised as they were. My husband came over to me and said did I just hear what you said? I said yes and said I was sorry for not picking a better time to tell him. He said that anytime was a good time. He ask me a lot of questions about when I found out and if I had a doctor yet. He hugged me and I felt like a burden had been lifted. I knew when I went into his parents house I was going to confront them and after the baby news was out I felt really strong. So I asked his parents if they were happy about being grandparents. Neither of them said a word. Then I said I know you don't like me and I don't know why. I said a lot of other things to but it would take to long to type in. I came right out and said I don't get it and ask them to tell me why. His dad said he'd always like me but it was his wife that didn't. Then he turned to her and told her it was time to tell me why. She started to cry and said that I had taken her son away from her. I ask her how I did that and she couldn't anser me. Then his dad said he'd being trying to get her to come to her senses about me for a long time but she just wouldn't listen. Then he said don't you think you owe her meaning me an apology. But she wouldn't. She just kept saying that I didn't understand what it was like to lose a son. I blurted out that I didn't kill him. I just married him. Then my husband said to me that maybe I should apologize to his mother for all the mean things I said to her. I was shocked and said what mean things. He started to tell me about things she said I said to her. I couldn't believe it. I never said any of those things. I lookded right at her and said her name and said you know I never said a mean thing to you.My husband ask her if she'd been lying to him about the things I supposedly said to her. She had been filling my husband with a lies about me. His dad said that she should apologize and when she wouldn't he said that maybe we should leave because he wanted to have a talk with his wife. We left and went home. My husband and I have been talking alot about the baby and not very much about his mother. I did ask him about Christmas and he said we weren't going anyplace. Not to my parents or to his. we were gong to stay at our apartment and if our parents wanted to come see us then that's what they can do. I went out this morning and bought a litle tree. I just finished decorating it. Thank you brightstar for giving me advice and the courage to speak up. I feel better now. I'll let you know what happens if you keep coming back to this site.


1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jill I am so happy for you and proud that you got the courage to ask why they didn't like you.It was better to ask in person.Some people are just plain mean.She feels she lost a son?There are people out there that really have lost a child she has no idea what it truley is like to lose a son.She should thank her lucky stars that she has her sons.Talk about selfish, she didn't like you because she lost her son to you that is no reason to be so evil and fabricate lies to her son.She owes all of you an apoligy.I am so happy that you finally told your husband and he is happy with the idea of you being pregnant.I am also happy you agreed to stay home, he is right your families can go to your house.MERRY CHRISTMAS AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL
please continue to keep in touch ,i have a feeling things will work out for you.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:27 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home